...highly agitated state today. I'm not sure why. My boss seems overly pessimistic these days, and I can't help but think it's due to my conversation about money a few weeks ago.
Because, of course, the world revolves around Me.
But everything is bugging me. My job, my daily routine, my relationship with Luis, my lack of a social life, my future.
I think I'm in one of those spots where I need some serious change and I'm not sure where to go with it. So I tend to lash outwards.
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Eew, gross!
My manager at work is a closet homosexual who's only outlet for his sexual frustration is to make awkward comments to his employees - two of whom are male.
And now he is starting to get physical. He slapped the ass of one guy, and has started to touch him when he wants to get his attention.
Yeah: ew, gross.
I couldn't care less who he is attracted to, or what his views are on his own sexual life, but the whole subversive outlet thing is creepy. At least it isn't aimed at me.
For once I feel pretty safe being a female in a mostly male-dominated industry.
Oddly, I think, the two guys I work with are loathe to deal with the situation head on. I suggested that we all talk to the boss about it, but they seem to not want to do that. My mom suggested that the first step should be to talk directly to the manager about his actions and ask him to stop. Fair enough.
We'll see if they do talk to him and if it has any effect.
And now he is starting to get physical. He slapped the ass of one guy, and has started to touch him when he wants to get his attention.
Yeah: ew, gross.
I couldn't care less who he is attracted to, or what his views are on his own sexual life, but the whole subversive outlet thing is creepy. At least it isn't aimed at me.
For once I feel pretty safe being a female in a mostly male-dominated industry.
Oddly, I think, the two guys I work with are loathe to deal with the situation head on. I suggested that we all talk to the boss about it, but they seem to not want to do that. My mom suggested that the first step should be to talk directly to the manager about his actions and ask him to stop. Fair enough.
We'll see if they do talk to him and if it has any effect.
Ye Shall Be Healed!!
I had a couple of religious people come to my door this morning. Not sure what religion they were - I didn't bother to ask - but they were looking to convert me. I politely told them that I was set, I didn't need to have that conversation.
Of course, they were looking for any type of "in" to get me to talk with them. They noticed I'm wearing a wrist brace and asked if I had broken my wrist. No, I told them, my doctor thinks I'm getting arthritis, so she is having me wear the brace.
The guy said, "oh yes, I have some of that."
They then asked if they could pray for me and the health of my wrist. Sure you can. So the woman stepped forward and took my hand. Oh, you mean pray for me right here, right now. Oh, ok.
So she wheels into a prayer, asking for God's grace to perform a miracle and remove the arthritis in my wrist.
I politely stood there and let them pray away, thinking "I'm not sure this is gonna work on me, a non-believer, if the prayers haven't taken away the arthritis in the gentleman believer on my porch."
Then they walked away to the next house down the block.
Of course, they were looking for any type of "in" to get me to talk with them. They noticed I'm wearing a wrist brace and asked if I had broken my wrist. No, I told them, my doctor thinks I'm getting arthritis, so she is having me wear the brace.
The guy said, "oh yes, I have some of that."
They then asked if they could pray for me and the health of my wrist. Sure you can. So the woman stepped forward and took my hand. Oh, you mean pray for me right here, right now. Oh, ok.
So she wheels into a prayer, asking for God's grace to perform a miracle and remove the arthritis in my wrist.
I politely stood there and let them pray away, thinking "I'm not sure this is gonna work on me, a non-believer, if the prayers haven't taken away the arthritis in the gentleman believer on my porch."
Then they walked away to the next house down the block.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Daddy moto
Luis seems to think I need to be out riding my motorcycle every sunny day. Maybe this is the perfect time to take advantage of the wonderful weather, but I just don't feel like riding every day. I'm more than happy to jump on my moto whenever I need to go somewhere, but it's lonely riding around town by myself. I'd be much happier to have a partner in crime.
He is more concerned with how much experience I'm getting so that when he brings his moto back this fall that I'll be able to keep up with him, that I won't drag him down.
He's a very selfish man.
Tomorrow I'm going to a women's meeting at the store where I bought my moto. It's not a class, but more of a networking thing. I want to meet women I can go tooling around town or the countryside with.
Today is sweltering hot - 92 degrees or so - and the thought of taking off to drive for the sake of "getting experience" doesn't appeal to me. I'd rather stay inside and stay cool. If I had someone else to drive with I'd be out there.
He is more concerned with how much experience I'm getting so that when he brings his moto back this fall that I'll be able to keep up with him, that I won't drag him down.
He's a very selfish man.
Tomorrow I'm going to a women's meeting at the store where I bought my moto. It's not a class, but more of a networking thing. I want to meet women I can go tooling around town or the countryside with.
Today is sweltering hot - 92 degrees or so - and the thought of taking off to drive for the sake of "getting experience" doesn't appeal to me. I'd rather stay inside and stay cool. If I had someone else to drive with I'd be out there.
Yes, I'm employed again
But it's at my same old job. Whoopie.
I had a long conversation with my boss this week. Not a very comfortable or good one. I was essentially asking for a raise, he was essentially telling me I wasn't worth it.
Blech.
After talking with Luis and my mom about all this, I start to wonder if I am over selling myself. Am I worth that much less than my co-worker? Then the same old shit happens at work and I wonder why I'm paid $3 less an hour than him. And worse than that, why I'm paid probably $5-6 less an hour than my manager.
My co-worker's pay I can deal with, although I think it is too much higher than mine by $2 per hour. But the fact that my manager is paid so much more than me becomes more and more of an insult to me.
But.... am I worth the same amount or just slightly less?
I had a long conversation with my boss this week. Not a very comfortable or good one. I was essentially asking for a raise, he was essentially telling me I wasn't worth it.
Blech.
After talking with Luis and my mom about all this, I start to wonder if I am over selling myself. Am I worth that much less than my co-worker? Then the same old shit happens at work and I wonder why I'm paid $3 less an hour than him. And worse than that, why I'm paid probably $5-6 less an hour than my manager.
My co-worker's pay I can deal with, although I think it is too much higher than mine by $2 per hour. But the fact that my manager is paid so much more than me becomes more and more of an insult to me.
But.... am I worth the same amount or just slightly less?
Saturday, July 05, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
When I grow up
"The best way to predict your future is to create it."
- Peter Drucker
"Leap and the net will appear." - Zen saying
I've been thinking about my job a lot lately. I'm now back on the payroll - it seems our business has picked up - but that time off gave me a lot to think about.
Plus I found out the only other guy on the shop floor makes $3 more an hour than I do. Not cool. He is worth the money, no doubt, but I am too, so I need to chat with my boss soon.
Aside from that issue, I've been wondering if I want to stay in this business at all. Or, more specifically, do I want to continue to just be a cabinet maker? I'm not all that into the physical side of it anymore (not sure I ever really was - it was just a part of the job), and I'm not learning anything new. We used to have other employees who I could really learn from. Doug taught me a lot about install and customer service. Tracy taught me more about install. I can still learn from Chris, but not on the same scale that I used to learn - he and I are pretty much equal in our skills. So I'm a bit bored, very underpaid, and tired of lifting heavy objects.
One option is to get into project management. There is a General Contractor company that I've worked with a few times that sounds like it could be an option. I've already sent out my resume to them, but didn't mention in the cover letter that I would be interested in going the project management route. But I have the owner's name (given to me by a PM from that company who I recently worked with), and will get my shit together next week to call him.
There is another company I've recently seen that I also sent my resume to, but don't have any contacts there. I'll try to follow up with them soon too.
And then there is that friend of my mom's who is buying the condo she wants to renovate, with me as one of her main employees. That would give me first-hand experience in project managing, and be very flexible. However, I'm not real sure what part I would play in the whole process, so we'd have to work that out.
And one guy I did an information interview with while I was laid off called me back this week to see if I was still available. I said maybe - told him I was re-employed, but not sure how long it would last (and I'm not, which is a bone of contention for me at the moment) - so we should keep in touch. He said he didn't have a job offer right now, but had a few projects he thought were going to come in and then he would need to staff up quickly.
So there are some good options out there, I just need to decide which route I want to take. Once I make that decision, I'll take that leap...
- Peter Drucker
"Leap and the net will appear." - Zen saying
I've been thinking about my job a lot lately. I'm now back on the payroll - it seems our business has picked up - but that time off gave me a lot to think about.
Plus I found out the only other guy on the shop floor makes $3 more an hour than I do. Not cool. He is worth the money, no doubt, but I am too, so I need to chat with my boss soon.
Aside from that issue, I've been wondering if I want to stay in this business at all. Or, more specifically, do I want to continue to just be a cabinet maker? I'm not all that into the physical side of it anymore (not sure I ever really was - it was just a part of the job), and I'm not learning anything new. We used to have other employees who I could really learn from. Doug taught me a lot about install and customer service. Tracy taught me more about install. I can still learn from Chris, but not on the same scale that I used to learn - he and I are pretty much equal in our skills. So I'm a bit bored, very underpaid, and tired of lifting heavy objects.
One option is to get into project management. There is a General Contractor company that I've worked with a few times that sounds like it could be an option. I've already sent out my resume to them, but didn't mention in the cover letter that I would be interested in going the project management route. But I have the owner's name (given to me by a PM from that company who I recently worked with), and will get my shit together next week to call him.
There is another company I've recently seen that I also sent my resume to, but don't have any contacts there. I'll try to follow up with them soon too.
And then there is that friend of my mom's who is buying the condo she wants to renovate, with me as one of her main employees. That would give me first-hand experience in project managing, and be very flexible. However, I'm not real sure what part I would play in the whole process, so we'd have to work that out.
And one guy I did an information interview with while I was laid off called me back this week to see if I was still available. I said maybe - told him I was re-employed, but not sure how long it would last (and I'm not, which is a bone of contention for me at the moment) - so we should keep in touch. He said he didn't have a job offer right now, but had a few projects he thought were going to come in and then he would need to staff up quickly.
So there are some good options out there, I just need to decide which route I want to take. Once I make that decision, I'll take that leap...
No Time
It seems like I have a long list of things I want to tackle, but somehow never really find the time to do so:
- re-read my BRT manual to brush up on all the things I learned in my motorcycle driving class
- finish knitting my current project
- read the books I checked out from the library
- post more often to my blog
- read the manual for my new camera and start using it (of course, in order to do that I need to...)
- buy an external drive to dump stuff off my laptop harddrive so I can download the new photos on my new camera
- figure out what I want to do for a living right now (more on that in another entry)
- get out and meet new people
Fat Girl
That's me these days. I tried on a pair of cutoffs I wore to work last summer - no go. All my clothing has gone up a size. I'm fat. For me, that is. There are still fatter people out there, but I'm moving in their direction.
It's not a matter of needing to build up muscles - I'm plenty strong - it's a matter of needing to eat better and work off some of the fat layers that have been added in the last year.
More cardio, less carbo.
It's not a matter of needing to build up muscles - I'm plenty strong - it's a matter of needing to eat better and work off some of the fat layers that have been added in the last year.
More cardio, less carbo.
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