Monday, October 30, 2006

Chaps

Btw, I bought my first pair of leather chaps in Leon. Leon is the world capital (according to Luis) of shoes, and they have a fair amount of leather goods too. And I was riding on the back of my motorcycle (no, Luis still hasn't taught me how to drive it!), so I figured a pair of chaps would be a good investment. Photos to come soon (I hope - my camera took one too many spills and now is on strike. Bummer.).

Leon

We went to the city of Leon this weekend for a biker event.

I love Leon. I could live in Leon. It is a City with a capital "C". We stayed in a great hotel right on the center. I went out walking by myself one evening. Luis said "be careful" before I left. I said "I'm probably safer here than in Tuxpan." He agreed. So I went walking for an hour and a half.

I was in heaven.

And I realized something while we were in Leon. It's not me. I mean, this whole time I've been down here I've thought that I had a problem, that it was me who couldn't adjust to living in Mexico, that I just needed to try harder. That all my issues in my life have come to the surface and I'm struggling mightily with them, and if I could only get a grip on them things would improve.

HA! It's not me! It's not even Mexico! It's fucking Tuxpan! I just can't adapt to this pueblito (small town)!

There were two other women there with me (and the boys of the Chayacate Bikers Club) - one lives in Tuxpan, one lives in Colima but is originally from Tuxpan. They both agreed with me that Tuxpan is waaaaaaaaaaaay too small and the people here are waaaaaaaaaaaaay too small minded.

Gaby is from here, and so is her husband, but they have moved to Colima City in Colima state. She says she doesn't like going to visit Tuxpan. Her brother and father live here, but she doesn't come to visit too often.

Fatima is married to Herman, although they are seperated at the moment. She lives in a big house with her two kids and works as a housewife. She is concerned for her kids because there isn't anything to do here in Tuxpan. Her daughter wants to take ballet classes, but there aren't any. Her son wants to play musical instruments, but the music school here isn't all that great.

HA! It's NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a frickin relief. Now I have Gaby's email address and I plan on emailing her often. Just to remind myself that it isn't me.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Still Here

Yup, I'm still here. Still in Tuxpan. Still trying to adjust. Had a fight with Luis the other day. Called my lovely sister Lisa and had her talk me through my misery. Things are ok with him now.

But I still struggle with feeling out of place. There are so many reasons for this. Mostly I think it's because Tuxpan is a very small town. Everyone is in everyone else's business. They all care what their neighbor is doing. I really couldn't give a hoot. I care about what is going on in my life. If someone around me has some effect on my life, I might care about what they are doing. If something is bothering someone I care about, I care about what that something is. But who really cares what the neice of Sergio's sister in law is doing? Does it have anything to do with me? No? Well, good on her. She should live her life without my interference.

But that isn't how it works down here. I talked to one woman about this issue, and she said that people here are poor, they don't necessarily work every day, so they have to find something to amuse themselves. And the level of education is very low. Not that people don't go to school, but what is taught and the level of comittment to that teaching is very low. My nephew is taking a Shop class in high school. I suggested that he might be interested in doing some work for us in the carpenteria. His mom said no because his teacher doesn't really teach him anything. The teacher is usually drunk.

Oh. Drunk around power tools. Probably better that he doesn't try to teach the kids anything.

Ny neice has been taking English classes for 3 years. She can't even hold a basic conversation with me. And I mean *basic* - like "Hi, how are you today? I'm going to my English class now. I'll see you later."

Really.

So poor education and boredom. Apparently that is all you need to turn your attention to your neighbor's life rather than making one of your own.

But there is this whole culture of isolation going on down here too. TV news is much more shallow than news in the US. Yes, it is possible! Most of what passes for news is gossip about the stars. Who's fucking who, who is having a baby, who is getting a divorce, blahblahblah. News of the outside world is kinda rare. News of what is going on in Mexico is kinda rare. I mean there are reports about floods in the major cities, deaths, robberies, blahblahblah. But what is going on with the people in charge? What is the president doing? What are the other state polititians doing? Who knows.

The television stations are all owned by the same company. Or maybe there are a few companies, but not many at all. It is a monopoly for all purposes. And that monopoly is maintained by keeping the people in power happy. So you don't show them on your stations in any way that might be construed as negative. Or, better yet, only show them when they want the publicity. Wait for them to ask you. Don't go after them.

Freedom of the Press doesn't exist down here.

So you only see what they want you to see. Limiting your viewpoint further.

I'll write more about all this later. I think I'm getting a bit off track right now.

Suffice it to say that I'm still here.