The Split

The shit has hit the fan in the family. Sides will be chosen, although they are pretty obvious already. It could get ugly. And it’s just the beginning of the holiday season.

Last year Luis and his nephew Dorian were chosen to be the Mayordomos of the annual Virgin of Guadalupe run for our neighborhood. Luis was excited as this was something his mother always wanted to do but never had the chance to before she died. Luis and Dorian were to split the responsibilities, namely to change the Virgin painting from household to household every week for the year, and then to organize and sponsor the run on December 12th.

Luis pulled his weight on the weekly task well enough, but could get a bit slack at times about changing the Virgin. He would forget, or decide he didn’t want to go. Dorian, as co-Mayordomo, filled in when Luis wasn’t there.

When the time came to start planning the run, Pati (Dorian’s mom and Luis’ sister) offered to make the shirts that everyone wears for the run. Luis asked her if she would have time because she also has a full-time business to run. She felt confident that she could do it. So Luis and I took a trip up to Guadalajara to purchase the fabric. Pati took the fabric we bought and started making the shirts. This was about a month and a half before the run date.

Luis started organizing water and oranges to feed the runners during the run, a location and food for the after-run party, and people to help in all the support roles (non-runners like me, that is).

Then the trouble started.

Early in December, Luis checked in with Pati to find out how many shirts were done. We needed at least a day lead time to send them to the printers before the run, although we could send them in batches to him if needed. She didn’t have any done. She had cut the material and knew she was going to need more. But no shirts were done and she didn’t know how much more fabric she needed.

Ok, well. We can go to Guadalajara to get more fabric once you tell us how much you need. Ok? So just let us know when you know.

Days went by and no word from Pati. We only had a week before the day of the run. Luis started to get angry. Getting the shirts done was becoming the biggest issue in organizing the run.

Pati finally told us how much fabric she needed. At that point she also mentioned that she was going to charge us 20 pesos per shirt. Keep in mind most of the effort put into this event is on a volunteer basis. Luis wasn’t getting paid anything, and was in fact putting out a lot of money as the sponsor of this event. When Pati originally said that she could make the shirts, there was no mention of money. But now that it was late in the game, suddenly money was an issue.

Luis, in his usual manner, decided not to discuss this with Pati at that point. This, as I see it, was his biggest mistake. If I were in his place, I would have discussed it immediately with her. Clear the air, get things straightened out while there is still time to take the shirts elsewhere if need be. And to make sure that the situation didn’t get any worse. But that wasn’t what Luis did.

As the days passed, Pati started to make excuses. “I don’t have any more shirts because the sewing machine was acting up… someone else let me down… I had to do something else.” But we would see Pati at our house in the evenings, eating tostadas with Cynthia, going home around 10pm. If I were her, I would have been spending all my spare time trying to finish the shirts. But that wasn’t what Pati did.

Finally the day of the run came and it all went off without a hitch. Somehow Pati had produced enough shirts to cover everyone’s back, I drove the van in front of the runners, and Luis ran the majority of the approximately 15k distance. After the run, the food was at the arter-run party location and everyone ate well.

In the days after the run, Luis went around and paid those folks who needed to be paid. Some things were donated in honor of the Virgin, some things just had to be paid for. But he didn’t go to Pati.

One night Pati was at the house. We all sat in the living room chatting for a bit, but when the conversation started to hit on the shirts, the crowd thinned out. Luis, Dorian, Pati and her daughter Mayra were in the living room, the rest of us respectfully disappeared into our own rooms.

In our bedroom, I could still hear them talking, but tried not to pay much attention. From the tones of the voices, it sounded like it wasn’t going well. In the end, Luis came into the room and said he didn’t want to talk about it. He went out to meet friends and came back after 2 or 3 hours, by which time I was half asleep.

The next day I got the lowdown. Pati insisted that she be paid the 20 pesos per shirt. She has become very materialistic in the past few years – ever since she began running her first and only business. She had tried to screw Luis and I over money after we brought her to the States, so I wasn’t really surprised. Disappointed, yes. Surprised, no.

But Dorian had also turned tail and was claiming that he was only Luis’ assistant, not a co-Mayordomo. Which essentially means that his half of the financial burden of the event needed to be covered by Luis. Never mind that Dorian took all the glory and respect paid to Mayordomos during the event. Never mind that the letters, which he wrote and printed up, inviting people to the event named him as a co-Mayordomo. Now that it was time to pay, he suddenly was a lowly assistant. How cowardly, how petty, how despicable! Pati basically made a $3500 peso profit on making the shirts for the run, Dorian hadn’t paid for anything related to the run. Now neither of them would even cough up a measley $750 pesos ($75 dollars) to cover one of the bills for the event.

Pati had screwed us over before, but Dorian had seemed to be an honest guy. So in the end, I felt more betrayed by Dorian’s actions than I did by Pati’s. In reality, it wasn't about the money. It was about integrity. Pati had seen a business opportunity in making the shirts. (And, after hearing some of her comments during their fight, an opportunity to put Luis down for the lifestyle he leads - which has nothing to do with the run, but has apparently been an issue in Pati's head.) She failed to see that the event itself exists to honor the Virgin, and thus was an opportunity for her to give praise by donating her services. Dorian just flat out lied to us.

At this point, Luis and I are planning on staying away from the Christmas celebrations tonight altogether. Neither of us want to see, let alone talk to, Pati or Dorian. So if we go to Laura’s house for the family celebration we will be forced to either pretend that things are ok, or to ignore Pati and Dorian. Neither solution is very comfortable or easy. Instead we think it’s better to avoid the event. Easier for everyone. But sad since there is such a strong emphasis on family here.