Dragon do-do

What the fuck happened to my Dragon Boat season this year?

First I'm put in a position where I feel my choices are:
 1 - stay with the team I've been on for 13 years and feel resentful & not be sure that I could hide it from the team, or
 2 - leave.

In everyone's best interest, I decided to leave.  It hurt me greatly, but it was the best option in the long run.  But I still feel stung by it.

Instead, I joined a splinter team that had left my original team a few years back.  I didn't feel like a part of them at first, but I warmed up to a couple of them.  But.... it was different.  They're nice folks, but they're not my kind of folks.  Too many "that's what she said" jokes.  But I was their's for the season, and that was fine... for now.

Now it's Race Weekend, and we do fairly well on our first race.  We're miserably out of time, and somehow end up with a 3:00 race, and best of all - we did better than my old team.  So I'm feeling pretty good.  I had stopped by my old team's tent to say hello & wish them luck.  And I felt more comfortable with them than I did with my current team.  It made me sad again at the way things had gone.

At our second race, things went sideways - literally.  The first two boats were pushed up against the race officials' boat, and we had to back up and reposition ourselves.  Which is where things really went bad.  Idiot Matt, who was calling this race, just stands there with his head up his ass, not commanding the boat at all.  John, our tiller is doing his best to maneuver, but he needs a partner in his caller, and Matt can't be bothered.  We are stalled out, not where we need to be, and not making a move to get there.  I yell out "someone take control of the boat"!  Meanwhile we have different people in the boat yelling out suggestions: "paddles up", "draw left", "hold the boat".  It was a fucking mess.

We eventually get to where we need to be, are in the midst of drawing left, and the official starts the race.  Our finish time is 3:15.  A full 15 seconds behind our first race.  It.  Sucked.

As we are walking back up the dock, Rachel says she wants to talk to me.  "What do I do in this situation?"  I tell her that Matt sucks, and that he isn't going to change at this point.  She needs to have a private conversation with him to tell him to get on board with the team.  To the team, she needs to tell everyone to shut the fuck up, that there are only two people on board who can give directions - the caller and the tiller.  She took that advice but was very gentle about it.  Which is her mode.  I probably wouldn't have been so kind.

But we are in Division 4.  Embarrassing.  I think the last time I was in Division 4 was when there were 5 divisions.  My former team is in Division 3.  This would have made me happy (and frustrated) since we made Division 1 last year.  It was a long fall for them.  But since we are in Division 4, I can't even really appreciate their fall.

I'm mad.  I gave up a good team because someone (or two people - it's difficult to tell) didn't like me encroaching on their ultimate control of the team.  They set me up to submit or leave - a no-win situation for me.  And I joined a team that was not a great match for me.  And they disappointed me today.

I don't know why I thought maybe this would be a fine enough season.  It started off fucked up, and it never quite promised anything else.  So why am I so angry?  And how can I rescue tomorrow for myself so that I at least enjoy the remainder of my weekend?