Not today

I'm just not feeling it today. I have returned from Mexico, unemployed and broke. I've missed a handful of payments already and now have the un-fun task of calling my creditors and asking for extensions on those already late payments. I started yesterday. Made three phone calls. Got two straightened out, and one is supposed to call me back (right... so they are back on the list). That was all I could handle for one day.

Today I figured I'd tackle two more calls. That's enough for one day. But I dawdled and lazed about the house until noon, finally leaving the house to come up to some trendy coffee house on Alberta.

And I can't do it today. I feel horrible about not being able to pay my bills. I've never missed payments (knowingly) in my whole life. Never mind the fact that I'm unemployed (along with the other 4 people I used to work with, as well as tons of other folks in the country) and haven't started getting Unemployment payments because I was in Mexico. In my little pea-sized brain, I am a Bad, Bad Person. This all goes along with my irrational belief that I need to be Perfect All The Time. So this set back isn't easy for me to deal with.

Maybe going to Mexico wasn't the best choice. But it was pointed out that if I had stayed here, I may have gotten my UI benefits, but I'd still be in the same position I'm currently in. Better to have gone and had a good time.

Alright. Two calls. Tomorrow.